I find myself pleading with Him in the darkness of the mornings, when I am that state between being awake and asleep. I hear myself pray, “Please let me live to see my sons in adulthood, and if it is not too much trouble, please let me see their children.” Even if not totally awake, I can feel the anguish of leaving my children behind. Every time, just as I drift back to sleep I consciously say, “But first and foremost they are your children, and You were their parent first, and You love them more than I could ever do, and I know You will take care of them.”
There were two kings who pleaded for their lives in the Bible. One was Hezekiah of the Old Testament. He was told to set his house in order as he was about to die. He was upset and reminded God how he walked before Him in truth and with a perfect heart. He pleaded to stay so that he could have children. God heard him and granted him his request to live. He was warned that the time after him would be an evil time and that his children would suffer, but his only concern was that there was at least peace during his time of reign.
His son who succeeded him, exceeded all the evil of the kings before him. Though Hezekiah had a peaceful reign, his legacy will always be stained by what his son did.
This chapter of the Bible resonated so much with me. I am so very alike Hezekiah. Constantly pleading for more time. One thing that also struck me was the fact that Hezekiah reminded God about the quality of believer that he was. In the Amplified it actually says that he reminded God that he “walked before” Him. And it made me wonder about the truth in that. My stepdad, whom I always describe as just needing a pair of wings to truly be the angel that he is, when told of a friend of his who passed away, said, “I am so happy for him.” That defines Uncle Willie (my stepdad). He is looking forward to the day that he gets to meet his Saviour and Creator. But Hezekiah, when told that his meeting with his Lord was imminent did not rejoice, no he was thinking about the life he had not lived yet.
Calvin (I think) said something along these lines, “If you should die today, you have to realise that it is truly what is best for you.” And so the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me for the past two weeks. To truly trust that God really has only our best interests at heart at all times.
Now to the other king. Jesus was also pleading in Matthew 26:39-44 for his life. But his prayer had a fundamental difference from Hezekiah. “Your will be done.” Always the submission to the will of the Father. He was also faced by the reality of a life still to be lived, miracles to be done and conversations to be had. The uncertainty of the dying process was so great that his sweat was like blood. And yet, his concern for those to follow, the multitude of people coming after who would hold on to his name for salvation weighed more than the present time that he was in. He understood this so well when he said in verse 53, “Do you suppose that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will immediately provide me with more than twelve legions of angels?” Despite that knowledge, despite the fact that did ask to be spared if it was the will of his Father, He accepted the answer to be, “No.” He asked for the will of the Father and He accepted the answer.
My prayer for myself and for you today is that you will be able to say, “Not my will, but your will be done.” And that you are able to accept the answer.