we have been having this conversation for a while now, and I have decided to put it down on paper. Maybe, when you are able to read it, black on white, it will find its way into the recesses of your heart and mind.
I have discovered an ancient art, that when practised properly, will save you much heartache. What is it called, you ask? (I can see you getting ready to google “how to” at the keyboard.)
It is called, The Art of Shutting the Fuck Up!
Yes, you read correctly. It is a swear word in there. I happen to have it on very good authority that it is a favourite of yours that you will hiss under your breath or even very quietly in your thoughts.
So, how do you practise this ancient art?
Easy. Just Shut.The.Fuck.Up. Easy as. Say nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Just listen.
I have started doing it and was amazed by what I learnt. A while ago there was this woman that I met and we just did not hit it off at all. Our conversation would not get going and immediately I thought, “What a stuck up, so-and-so. She is so driven and drives her children to achieve, achieve, achieve.” But I kept my mouth and told myself that I do not know her well enough. And lo-and-behold – It happened – she dropped a hint about her childhood. And I thought, “Ah, the driven thing makes sense.” Weeks later she mentioned something else and I thought, “This makes perfect sense.” End result? She is not stuck up. She is just another woman who is trying to live her life to the fullest she possibly knows how. And who am I to think anything but positive things about her?
Another thing, Marlize, that I have learnt the past month or six, is that when you meet new people, you do not have to let them into the inner circle of your thoughts. For it truly is a scary place, and people are continually challenged when you share such things with them. You, are an entertainer. And some people prefer the pink fluffy stuff that comes with entertainment. Take it from me, choose you audience wisely, and make sure your timing is right. In other words, learn how to Shut.The.Fuck.Up. Entertain them… Make them feel welcome. Build the relationships with them. And then, later, when you know them, and they know you, give them little snippets of who you are. For some, you are only a mother. Only a woman whose place is in the home, and extreme thoughts make them uncomfortable. You do not know their history, you do not know their fears. Maybe, once you understand why and how, you may be able to share some of your why and how.
I have been researching this ancient art, and I have found it in one of the places I know you go searching in most often. The Bible. You know, the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, book.
Here are a couple of places in the Bible which ascribes to this art.
Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.
An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
Of course there are many more, but I am sure you get the idea, right? Chick, this is nothing more than I have been telling you. Just in a much nicer way.
So there you go. You know I love you right? You know that I really want only the best for you, yeah? But girl, you have got to work on the amount of information you share with people. In other words, ‘You’ve gotta learn how to Shut.The.Fuck.Up.
Your swearing Alter Ego